I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
