Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
