She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
