i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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