i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
