I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
