i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
