sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
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The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
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my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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