Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
