He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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