I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him