can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize