did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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