U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
