In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
