So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
