im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
