ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
This is the high leading the old right now
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
