i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
3pm strippers are depressing
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
