just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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