If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
