I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
sex in a hospital.. check
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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