One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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