It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize