Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
