To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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