K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
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my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
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It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
There's even glitter on my cock...
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