just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
