How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
