HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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