opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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