Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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