great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Randomize
