dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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