2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
operation have a gay friend backfired
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
