you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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