u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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