Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
