last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
