Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she looked like the before picture.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
