If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
