I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
