I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
