the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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