Already got asked if we're dating
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
