We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I wish there were birth control emojis
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
