actually, I'm a sock model
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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