But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
