chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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