problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have aggressive nipples.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
