hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
