Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
