none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
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Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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