lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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