Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
