Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
