i just wanna soil my oats bro
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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