Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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