I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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